What’s up you cheap ass chicken and chips dwellers, welcome to Ghetto Cuisine, where we take you on a five-star tour and review of some of the UK’s duttiest, most repulsive, I-wouldn’t-feed-it-to-my pet zombie chicken shops. Yet we still love going to ‘em…and why is that? Because like the budgie it’s CHEAP!!!
Today I’ve landed the Millennium Falcon (which I hijacked GTA style off Han Solo) at Yankees Chicken Shop. This particular Chicken Shop holds a dear place in my heart as it’s the first chicken shop where I bought my two wings and fries for £1.00. It’s a bit like the same feeling when I popped my cherry (except I didn’t pay for the sex and there weren’t no food in involved). But I digress, for those in the know Yankees was recently in the Newham Magazine after beingt he local health authorities said ‘Shut ‘Em Down!’ (word to Chuck and Pete Rock) for having health and hygiene standards far worse than a Filipino toilet. Mice, rats and bugs? No soap or water in the sink? It sounds like a normal chicken shop as it goes.
The stores design follows the simple (DEADOUT) standard of all chicken shops, reppin’ the red, white and blue enough to make the legendary Captain America proud (btw is my favourite superhero…FACT). Which is pretty ironic because once you step foot in the place your greeted by a framed picture of Mecca which is hanging up in the corner.
As the staff (or sweaty meat handlers as I like to call them – PAUSE, No HOMO) are pretty safe…I remember one time on New Years Eve they gave 2 extra hot wings for making me wait so long. That being said they’re pretty hairy dudes – PAUSE NO HOMO – and they don’t wear gloves when they’re handling the merchandise.
As for the food…I won’t front it’s fucking off the hook…for a while…think of it like crack or heroin (both which I’ve never ever tried), especially their popular 6 wings and fries meal, it’s a good blast for about a few hours but after the meal I guarantee you will feel like absolute shit afterwards…and you’ll still be coming back for more anyways because it’s addictive.
For those that still enjoy the poison fruit that Yankees has to offer you may rejoice with your two finger skank salute as they’ve now re-opened (with none of their health issues resolved most probably). As for me I think I’ll be keeping away from that place for the rest of eternity. Now excuse me whilst I use my light sabre to cut open my stomach and attempt to pull out (or use The Force to shit out) all of their crap I’ve consumed over the years.
Keep your stomachs FUCKED UP!
PEACE
J
